Helgarossa is a 1930-1940s era noir fantasy war story in which a fictional evil nation, The GerFräuten fReich, launches a surprise invasion of it's unsuspecting neighbor, the large but economically depressed United States of Manmerica. The primary motive for this war is the historical animosity between the female dominated Fräuten society and the backward and corrupt, paternally dominated Manmerican culture. This is to be a war of the sexes. The Umphazex v.s. Oppozex.

As the story begins, the GerFräut fReich is already at war with it's arch rival, the Brifish Empire and her allies, which includes large armies of the fFrench Republic. Since both sides in this conflict are maternally dominated, the struggle is dubbed the "2nd Women's World War" by the Manmerican press. During these hostilities the Manmericans have maintained an uneasy neutrality. Their grossly corrupt administration, headed by president Baldus Mayhem Falsoap has been profiteering from the war and hopes to remain on the side lines, filling their greedy pockets while the female western empires decimate each other in protracted bloody conflict. This scheme is upset by the sudden unexpected collapse of the fFrench armies and the hasty evacuation of the mauled Brifish from the continent.

The megalomaniacal supreme leader of the GerFräuten fReich Fräut Vera Hochstetter a.k.a. die Angstchen, prepares to invade Brifain. The Luftkrieg is commanded to neutralize the R.A.F. and a bitter air battle rages over London. Although the outcome remains in doubt, all observers agree that if the GerFräuten armies succeed in crossing the channel in strength, the Brifish, even with the support of their vast overseas empire, and large modern navy, would be unable to stop the dreaded Panzet divisions.

It is at this juncture that the influence of die Angstchen's spiritual advisor, the unsavory eunuch, Dr. Kurdl, alters the course of history. A member of an ancient cult of neutered mystics, die Ünichen, the doctor persuades die Angstchen to divert her attentions from the conquest of Brifain, to the pursuit of a legendary quest of mystical, rather than military importance. The search for the long lost helm of Helga. This fabled helm, worn long ago by the great Fräuten Empress Helga, had the power to make the ancient Fräuten klanets invincible in battle. The fate of Helga and her famous helm have long been lost to the depths of legend, but for Dr. Kurdl and his fellow Ünichen, it's existence, and it's return to the Mütterlund are a matter of absolute faith, and prime priority. Using their supposed supernatural abilities, the Ünichen have established a psychic vector to the location of the helm. It is determined that the helm still exists and lay hidden somewhere to the east, in the vast Manmerican wilderness. If the armies of the fReich could secure the areas in question, Dr. Kurdl assures die Angstchen that the helm could be recovered and returned to the Mütterlund where once again it would crown the brow of a Fräuten leader. Surely augmented by the powers of the helm, no force on Earth could prevent the Fräuten fReich from fulfilling is true destiny.

Over the objections of the general staff, die UmphaKommand, die Angstchen makes a momentous decision. Instead of pressing the attack against the Brifish, she determines to destroy the Manmerican manfidels with a sudden blitzkrieg invasion. After the destruction of the eastern Manmerican menace, and with the power of the helm at her disposal, first the Brifish, then the entire world, would soon bow before the pink banners of the glorious GerFräuten fReich.

Plans are drawn as the full might of the vaunted GerFräuten army, die Wehrmädchen, and the feared Luftkrieg, secretly assemble along the eastern frontier. The autumn passes to winter, and winter to spring as the armies are redeployed and readied. From the Califinnland mountains in the south to the pine forests of the Sfwiss border of the north, all along a 1,000 mile front, the flower of the Wehrmädchen tense for the great strike. On the dawn of the midsummer night's eve the blow falls. Operation Helgarossa is unleashed. The eastern front is in flames, heralding the greatest conflict in history.

helgarossa, cinematic, novel, online graphic, graphic, web noir, comic, comic book, soap, serial, war, panzer, amazon, warrior, atlternate history, blitzkreig, 1941, Barbarossa, WWII, surprize attack, US, Army, Wehrmacht, Wehrmadchen, Luftkrieg, Zeewaffe, Luftwaffe, Kriegsmarine, Reich, Sexes, Zex, Fraut, Frauten, GerFraut, fReich, Hunke, Hunkeshreik, FUNI, Angstchen, Umpah, Oppo, Wafflet, Festung Frauten, Helganic, Unichen, Helgasinki, fFrance, Brifain, Doodle, Helga, Briffa, Aalph Weedinsane, Bridgton Pyling, Blair Louden, Zizi Beaner, Wynden Rhodes, Toebius Trailer, Big Vincent, Little Vincent, Fraut Glichen fFixen, Tuesdae Mittenwoch, Homa unt Gena Zydl, Salzigelle Pretzel, General Erine Trouser, Moeche fTotenmacht, Flavor Parsnip, Panzet, PanzetKampfgruppen, Manfidels, klieneherr, Manmerica, AlteUmpha, Aurora D.C., Das Kapital,die Angstchen, Dr Kurdl, Templeton Klensor, Mable Hatchet, Fräut Boring

Helgarossa, the history of the battle between the sexes takes on a whole new perspective when the Gerfräut fReich invades the United States on June 22nd 1941.